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What is 2+2? 

How to Duel

March 28th, 2011

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Hello world! Jeff asked me to write a post for this week’s song but since I’ve had a bunch of wine (from a bunch of grapes), I offered to fight him instead. (Or maybe in addition to.) He said, in his Jeff voice, that he’s cutting me off and to save my fighting for the post – because it’s about fighting. The wine allowed me to see his point, so I agreed to fight him at a later date of the wine’s choosing. Anyhow, don’t fight people…or do…hey look: music.

I can speak for both of us*,
Jeff and Elliott

*This is incorrect. The rest is about right. – Jeff


Dear Jeff and Elliott,

Our modern equivalences of vengeance and honor have no color next to the practice of dueling! How can I expedite a resurgence this wondrous art? Should I start dueling my foes? Further, should I start cultivating foes?

Foe-less in Freehold

“How to Duel”

Dear Foe-less,

I challenge you TO A DUEL
And I name as my second:
Elliott!
I arrive and accept!

To challenge one to a duel
First insult; call them a fool
Your cocky swagger, will take them by surprise

Then take the glove off of your hand
And lay five fingers to the man
To the man who forgot ketchup with your fries

Step One:
Find a sword
Step two:
Shout: En garde!
Step three:
Commence dueling
Step four:
Try not to get stabbed

Now comes a challenge to the death
Prepare to fight to your dying breath
For your honor

After you have bested your foe
Everyone will know
You’re not one to be
Taken lightly

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