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What is 2+2? 

Another Holiday in Retail

September 20th, 2010

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Everyone knows the holidays are different in the retail environment! Christmas stuff will be up before Halloween is over. (And everyone once again will pretend like this is new behavior!) But unless you know someone who works in retail, you might not know that it’s a conspiracy to make workers hate all holidays. (Hate filled people stock faster. Look it up.) The question is: how do they not throttle every person that snidely demands something, or that cheerily squeaks you should “cheer up, it’s the holidays!”

Cheer up it’s the holi-ohcraprunthey’rechasingus,
Jeff and Elliott

P.S. This week’s special vocal guest is Jeff’s bro Spencer. (Meanwhile Jeff lazily yawns in tune in the background).

Dear Jeff and Elliott

I happen to currently work in retail and I’ve just managed to survive the “back to school rush”. But now the retail holidays are upon us. While that may make some people all warm and fuzzy with happiness, it makes me warm and fuzzy with rage. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year…how do I survive another holiday season and keep my sanity?

Riled up in Retail

“Another Holiday in Retail”

Dear Riled,

In order to balance all the love and caring
Baristas can go to hell, Cashiers and clerks follow as well

This is the manner of the hoi polloi
And the nature of the beast where you dwell; Cheer and goodwill and crap to sell

So how to deal? Do you pole-vault the counter?
Kicking ass and taking names?

Or do you try to remember, it’s tough on a lot of people;
Show courtesy and stand to get the same?

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