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What is 2+2? 

Knees. Who Needs ‘em

July 12th, 2010

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We’ve had quite a few (or more than one – whatever) requests for “cheer up” songs. Technically this isn’t advice (which is specifically our purview). Still, songwriting it is and song-smiths we are (that’s right, we craft songs). Not writing a requested song would be like showing a poet a sunrise and not expecting prose, or talking to a narcissist about anything and expecting a meaningful conversation – it’s already decided! Okay you caught us; you can’t write a decent song about just anything. Picasso didn’t paint every bowl of fruit some idiot set down. Feel better? We hope you do.

Stay Cheerful,
Jeff and Elliott


Dear Jeff and Elliott,

My friend dislocated his knee a while ago and had to get surgery and is still on crutches. They say he should be able to fully bend his knee by now but he can’t. Think you can make a song to cheer him up?

Trying to help a friend

“Knees. Who Needs ‘em”

Dear Trying,

Take it easy friend, why the rush to bend;
Not everything needs knees
Fish and snakes, on the ground or in lakes,
Locomote just fine without these
Okay, fair enough, you don’t slither through the rough
Or have gills to breathe
But your waiter would stand straighter
And table legs don’t waiver without knees

[Inspiring Trumpet]

Take it all in knee-less stride,with the crutches at your side
You’re half man half machine
You can do what few else can and you’re more stable when you stand
(But with a forward lean)
And when you ditch the crutches brave men will fear your clutches;
Your new strength unforeseen
Just don’t give the doctors peace without first fixing your knees,
They’ve got an oath to keep

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