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What is 2+2? 

I Can’t Believe it’s not Metal (Okay I can)

May 10th, 2010

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With our stellar success, we’re often approached to “give back” as it were. (You know…kiss babies, accept awards, name new species.) This time though, we were asked to help out a fellow song writer! Like most questions we answer before listening all the way through, our answer was “Sure!”. In hindsight, we have trouble pulling off metal, so that’s up to the guy who asked the question. Also, we’re gonna need to split that money. (We figure 70/30; You get 10% the other 20% goes to charity…’cause we’re nice like that!)

Winners of best community outreach,
Jeff and Elliott


Dear Jeff and Elliott,

I am an aspiring songwriter with a severe case of writers block- but good news guys, I think I’m in love!

Can you two help me write an apprehensive/possibly Celtic Death Metal love song about this situation and then let me claim it as my own work, making millions and maybe thanking you guys mysteriously during my Grammy acceptance monologue?

Thanks in advance! ,
Verse-less in Vidalia

“I Can’t Believe it’s not Metal (Okay I can)”

Dear Verse-less,

Oh my darlin’ cloaked in blackest night
We seal our love with unholy rites
Though no verse of mine is brought to bear
I lose myself in your cold dead stare

No mortal can this dark desire assuage
While our hands are clasped beyond the grave
And I for you I’d command the fires of hell
If only my soul was, instead of yours, mine to sell

When the dead rise from the ashes and red as blood becomes the tide
I can think of no other I would have at my side
If your still, unbeating heart is still sitting on the fence
If you’ll be my princess of darkness then I will be your prince

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