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What is 2+2? 

Not too Drunk to Dial

March 18th, 2010

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It’s the day after St. Patrick’s, and you might be saying: “Wow, I would’ve thought Jeff and Elliott would’ve been too hung-over to update!” Well thems fightin’ words. We know what Mondays feel like, and today definitely feels like a Monday.

Winners of best bomb-threat,
Jeff and Elliott


Dear Jeff and Elliott,

I’m really worried I’ll be too hung-over to work the day after St. Paddy’s. What should I do?

Hung-over in Dover

“Not too Drunk to Dial”

Dear Hung-over,

St. Paddy’s come and gone
You’re still sleepin’ on your lawn
But now it’s time to go and make the cash

So you stumble up again
And race back to the porcelain
Because you realize you’re still hammered off your ass

Now you’ve gotta get to work
Without lookin’ like a jerk
Listen close, this is how you will prevail!

Find a payphone: ready, set
Go and call in a bomb threat
Then pack your bags for your trip to federal jail!

But O the Glory
Of a work-free morning
Hope to see you wearin’ green
Instead of orange next year

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