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What is 2+2? 

Cat-astrophe (Get it?!)

January 18th, 2010

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What is this!? A reversal of roles!? Zounds! Our friend John Boyle has submitted a question in the form of song, therefore we submit an answer in the form of writing.

Wordsmiths of the highest caliber,
Jeff and Elliott


Dear Jeff and Elliott,

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I’m kind of in a bind
These are troublesome times
I can’t make up my mind
Would you please give me some advice

This situations new
Could you please tell me what to do
I’m finally at my wit’s end
My mind’s exhausted and my heart’s spent

Do I get a kitten, a tiny little pet? (1)
Do i hide him from my landlord so he doesn’t raise my rent? (2)
A feline companion to pass away the day? (3)
What should i name him, should i name him socks or should i name him Frank? (4)

So many questions about pet ownership
Could you please help me, i don’t know what to do with this
How about this situation, what if i go on vacation? (5)
Would you watch him for me, even if i was gone for a week? (6)

Do i buy a bag of meow mix? (7)
Take to him to the vet and do i get him fixed? (8)
Do i get him de-clawed too, so he doesn’t tear up my new couch? (9)

I don’t know what to do
Please help me answer this question


-John

*Editor’s note: We added the (Numbers)

Dear John,

(1) Yes
(2) No
(3) That’s not a question
(4) Frank
(5) Go for it
(6) We don’t have room for another cat, sorry
(7) Meow mix is good. Especially if you like orange cat-throwup
(8) We’ll differ to Bob Barker: “Spay and Neuter your pets”
(9) Would you like it if we cut the first knuckle off your fingers?