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What is 2+2? 

1/12 of the Year; Alas, Why Not 12/12 of the Year?

December 14th, 2009

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Seasons Greetings Dear Listeners, and welcome to part one of our three part Holiday spectacular! Over the next three weeks we’re going to post three separate movements, that when played together form an arrangement that we like to call “Merry F’in Christmas!”* For centuries, man has tried to capture the spirit of the holidays in song, and we like to think that we’ve finally pegged what the season is really all about. So grab a hot cider, and roast some chestnuts on an open fire, but more importantly, invite your friends and family.

Love,
Jeff and Elliott

*We call the arrangement “Merry F’in Christmas” not because we’re being sassy, but because the songs just happen to revolve around F. The note. Pretty clever, eh? No? Alright, you win.


Dear Jeff and Elliott,

I’ve noticed that a lot of your advice seems to take a cynical outlook/slant. Why don’t you warm it up for the holidays?

Naysayin’ in New Orleans

“1/12 of the Year; Alas, Why Not 12/12 of the Year?”

Dear Naysayer,

Just because it’s cold outside
People get all warm and fuzzy on the inside
What could they be trying to hide
That they’re dicks 11/12ths of the year

But now that Christmas is here
It’s all, goodwill and cheer
Oh look it’s the Salvation Army
What do they do with that money?
I don’t trust anybody
You people do not fool me
The month may have changed
But I bet you’re still the same

It’s not that everything’s bad
It’s just this “once-a-year” shit’s kinda sad

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