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What is 2+2? 

How Not to Get Ahead in Life

June 29th, 2009

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It’s a tough job market folks! Many people have been laid-off and for them, and many young people entering the work-force, it’s been hard to find jobs. The worst part is, no matter how much advice we give out, we’re not getting paid! I guess it’s a labor of love. Know what else we love? Getting your questions and comments – so send ‘em our way: [email protected] (jeez that’s easy)!

Happy job-hunting,
Jeff and Elliott

Dear Jeff and Elliott,

I’m applying for a job that requires experience, but I don’t actually have it! Do you think I should just say that I do? I could really use this job.

Mothballed in Mesa

“How Not to Get Ahead in Life”

Dear Mothballed,

If you can fake it then you can make it
Everyone embellishes their résumé
Just don’t put anything that’s too cra-cra
They might call on that specific skill set one day

If you’re still lost that’s okay; you’re only human
We’ll tell you what we both put on our résumé; we said we’re robots for starters. Robots don’t make mistakes.

I served two simultaneous tours of duty in world war two
And I also happen to be Stephen Hawking’s nephew
I can calculate big ass numbers in my head it’s true
Hire me or when I run the company I’ll fire you

I had a college gpa of 6.0
One day, I saved a bus of orphans trapped in snow
Don’t wait! Hire me and then sit back and watch your stock inflate!
Did I mention that I am really great!

We think that you can see
How these résumés worked perfectly
We now run a music website
That dispenses suspect advice

I guess what we’re trying to say:
Don’t over-exaggerate on your résumé

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