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What is 2+2? 

Ring Don’t Mean a Thing

March 15th, 2009

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Welcome to the launch of Jeff and Elliott Save the Day. We hope you like it. If you feel the need, you too can send us a question. Just take a look above and click on “contact” for details.

Jeff and Elliott

Dear Elliott and Jeff,

Last night when I was at the bar, I found myself in a situation with a girl that ended in both of us making out. Normally I’d be somewhat happy with this conclusion, however I later found out that she is engaged and was even wearing the ring as we made out. Part of me wants to continue the relationship, what should I do?

-Befuddled in Bloomington

“Ring Don’t Mean a Thing”

Dear Befuddled,

Why don’t you take a glance at the golden rule:
Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you
If you were the guy who had gotten down on one knee
What would you think if your fiancĂ© was smoochin’ me

You’d think “what a fuckin’ dick
I can’t believe this shit
If the engagement was going down
Why not tell me before fucking around?”*

If it can happen to him, it can happen to you
Now let us please introduce, the other foot to the shoe
What would you think when she goes out leaving you behind
Knowing not even a ring will keep you in mind

You’re gonna lose all your hair from stress
You’re gonna fail that calculus test
Your life could be completely messed
Forget it, it would be best

*FiancĂ©’s thoughts on the matter

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